Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
