You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
