my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
