it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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