I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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