You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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