dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
