5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
