Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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