I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
