too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize