Pants 0. Shit 1.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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