I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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