Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
