so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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