Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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