"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
