How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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