next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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