They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
