ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
