isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
