8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
