Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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