I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
