I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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