I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this beer tastes like vomit already
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
