is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
