im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
