Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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