I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
