I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
