I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
