No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
