Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
