So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
