Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
