Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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