WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
