you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im holly from the hills drunk
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
