Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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