so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
