Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
