Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
