I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
