READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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