And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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