Yo dont text me then not text me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
