No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
