I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
