Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
